I wonder why God gives me others when I only want my family. Maybe he sees that I'm better without them.  Why would God give me what I don't want? Because he gives me what I need. It's a difficult and beautiful thing to understand, and it hurts. Then I ask what is my purpose. Last week someone told me something to the effect of: God makes things ugly before he can make them beautiful. Or something like that. It went in one ear and out  the other. I must admit but it's been drifting in and out of my mind.