I could totally see myself doing this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUGH0BhdG0Q

Her voice is so...interesting...I love it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ab2DDmwYVQw&feature=related

Soooo cuuuuuuuuuuuute.

My top 4 most general frequent thoughts (random order):

1. I need to get my work done
2. Jason
3. Being active
4. My grandmother's household

Specifically:
1. a) The work I will need to complete in the short term
b) The work I will need to complete in the long term
c) I don't want to do this
d) I need to do this
e) Fine, I'll do it.
2. a) I wonder what he's up to
b) I wonder where we'll be next year
c) Breaking up *imagining it*
d) Would we still be friends? *also imagining it*
e) I wish I could see him right now
3. a) I miss walking
b) I miss being a runner *imagining it*
c) I need to go at least 3-4 times a week
4 a) I miss her
b) I wonder what she's doing
c) I wonder what's going on over there
d) Probably same-ol, same-ol

Meep!

I wonder why God gives me others when I only want my family. Maybe he sees that I'm better without them.  Why would God give me what I don't want? Because he gives me what I need. It's a difficult and beautiful thing to understand, and it hurts. Then I ask what is my purpose. Last week someone told me something to the effect of: God makes things ugly before he can make them beautiful. Or something like that. It went in one ear and out  the other. I must admit but it's been drifting in and out of my mind.

RainyMood.com: Rain makes everything better.

RainyMood.com: Rain makes everything better.

I'm pretty excited to be starting school, but mostly determined. I really want to focus on my academics and growing and that sort of stuff. There are more important things to be focusing on than the things I have been in the past months. I'm still taking into consideration moving back into grandma's but I know it won't happen. I can make it work down here. I just don't want to go back to the nagging and restriction. I'm kinda worried about stuff with Jason. You know, that I'll just back out of the relationship because I don't want it anymore because he's so far away and what's the point when I have a life going on here? Whatever happens, happens. Being open about it at bible study helps. They said to do whatever feels right and brings you peace. Especially Laura said that if breaking up gives you a sense of peace and what not, it's from God. Anything else that brings confusion and stress isn't from him. So, I already know what the decision is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhxPjmSDD9g

I just wanted to put on here that my life in its entirety is pretty interesting. I bet if we all were ourselves in a room somewhere watching a constant video of our lives from the past year with captions of our thoughts, we would be speechless in some way. I wish I could do that. Do you? I think a year would be enough. Or maybe it would be too much. And do you think it would be better to watch the past or the future? Which would you rather watch?